Saw 3D

Here, I’ll sum it up for you: Lying is wrong.

Feel better? Good. Go and sin no more.

The best thing about Saw 3D is that it’s the last movie in the Saw franchise (hooray!). It’s true that some people enjoy watching hypocrites get tortured to death. But I’m not so much of a hypocrite as to think I’m not a hypocrite, so I typically don’t. Another one of my failings is that I’m judgmental: I think that connoisseurs of torture flicks have weird issues that, at the very least, need medicating.

Psst…I actually enjoyed the original Saw movie.

As in the previous six movies, the original premise has been retained—namely, that a very few assholes, if faced with the prospect of a terrible death, will summon the will to survive, which will make them appreciate their lives and stop being assholes. Most people won’t survive; but that’s okay, they had it coming.

The concept, coupled with interesting characters and the villain’s creative torture devices, made the first movie compelling. Riveting, even. Since then, the notion has become progressively more tedious.

While 3-D does lend a certain je ne sais quois to the torture gadgets, the Saw movies are only successful when the audience can sympathize with the victims and the sadistic mastermind Jigsaw (or, now that he’s dead, one of his Stockholm syndrome apprentices).

Long ago, this became impossible. How can you identify with somebody whose life’s work is to punish folks for their moral failings?

It’s like the Tea Party with their campaign ads.

Saw 3D does tie up some things from the first movie (waaaay back in 2004), most especially what happened to the good, albeit adulterous, Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Carey Elwes). (Spoiler: He’s also suffering from Stockholm syndrome.) And the torturous beartrap in three dimensions becomes even more gruesome.

On a variety of levels, leaving the movie is like waking from an unpleasant nightmare—thank god that’s over.