If You Are Not a Stoner, Stop Reading Now
These people are:
1. Usually stoned, especially while watching this movie
2. Not offended by anything, possibly because they are always stoned
3. Uber-fans of such fine cinematic achievements as The Princess Bride, Labyrinth and Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny
4. Beside themselves with joy that Red and Saul have reunited on screen with each other and with cannabis
Franco and McBride were so funny in Pineapple Express; they both sold their characters with full-on shameless conviction. It's too bad that didn't happen here.
Danny McBride plays Thadeous, a second-son stoner princeling, a medieval Red who loves nothing more than to get with maidens and smoke pot with his loyal servant Courtney (Rasmus Hardiker, one of the few people not faking an English accent, as well as being really damn funny). His elder brother, Fabious (James Franco) is the future king and brave, handsome, charming and not fat. He has also recently fallen in love with Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel, a damsel in distress), whom he rescued from the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux). On their wedding day, Leezar kidnaps her back in order to fulfill his destiny. Something about conceiving dragons at the eclipse of the two moons; it doesn't matter. Of course Fabious has to go rescue his love and for once Thadeous goes along. After not too long, they meet a brave warrior on a related mission who urns out to be Natalie Portman. She wears a thong under her peasant pants.
Will they vanquish the nefarious Leezar? Will they rescue poor Belladonna before she's impregnated with dragon spawn? More importantly, will Thadeous manage to get with Natalie Portman? (Of all the things in this movie, that is the most preposterous.)
Okay, in all fairness, I enjoyed this movie, despite the bad accents, the overwhelming silliness and the fact that I was completely sober while watching it. I recognize that it's probably due to nostalgia, the fact that it hearkens so strongly to the best movies of my youth (see above). It's not as clever as the Princess Bride or as magical as Labyrinth or as balls-out raunchy as The Pick of Destiny, but it is funny, there is magic and it is undeniably disgusting.
And Natalie Portman is kind of a badass, even though she's in every freaking movie right now. I guess she's having a baby soon, so maybe we'll have a much-needed break from her for a while.
Your Highness (get it? It's a double entendre!) missed the mark; it's just too tongue-in-cheek to be a real adventure story, which is an obvious waste of its high production value. But it is good for some laughs, ideally interspersed with vigorous coughing.