1991 in Three Dimensions
"Be our guest, be our guest..." I was in sixth grade when Disney's Beauty and the Beast (in two glorious dimensions) was released in theaters. I loved it: the songs, the spectacle, the art, Belle's hair. Did I mention I was eleven?
Beauty and the Beast is a very old story with an important moral: Appearances deceive, and it's what is on the inside that counts.
Unless you're a lady. Then you'd better be hot and nice and willing to fall in love with, let's face it, a non-human animal if he happens to be be in love with you first. And thus arose a whole generation of dog and cat ladies.
Just kidding on that last part; I don't actually think this movie advocates bestiality. It simply holds women to a much higher standard of kindness than our masculine bros.
That's too bad, because that (oh so Disney) inequality obscures the part about how true beauty can only exist on the inside (and in the eye of the beholder? Now I'm confused). I guess it's just an unfortunate coincidence that Belle happens to be smoking, if you're into disproportionate, animated peasant girls. No judgments.
Twenty-two years later, the story is the same, but at least Belle, Sebastian, Lumiere, Mrs. Potts and the gang are a little more three dimensional than they were back in 1991. Since they are literally now in 3-D.
The 3-D doesn't add a whole lot -- it usually doesn't when it's applied after the fact. But movie studios make nearly twice as much money selling tickets to 3-D movies, especially when squadrons of fourth-graders are dragging their parents to see them.
My feelings run cynical about this retroactive dimensionalizing, but if they draw the line at cartoons, I'm willing to agree to disagree. (The day The Shining gets the treatment is the day I start picketing.)
Confession: Beauty and the Beast is by far my favorite of Disney's "princess" oeuvre. Partly because it's way less icky than a lot of them -- you don't have to think too hard about Sleeping Beauty, The Little Mermaid and, ugh, Tangled to realize how truly deranged children's entertainment can be. But mostly, I like Beauty and the Beast because the secondary characters are so charming: A caddish candelabra? An eight-day clock of a butler? Yes, please! Add to that the best songwriting in Disney's history (suck it Lion King), as well as fantastic animation, and we have a relative winner on our hands.
Still, I'd take The Rescuers, The Great Mouse Detective or 101 Dalmatians any day. The stories are more interesting, and hello, prepubescent humans don't need to be saturated with romance.
Speaking of the story: Unless you just moved here from North Korea or Iran, you know it! An arrogant, handsome prince disses a haggard sorceress, who turns him into a beast. She also gives him a rose (small comfort) and he must find somebody who loves him in spite of his grotesque appearance before the last petal falls. Belle is a surprisingly well-read peasant girl whom the Beast imprisons in exchange for her father's freedom. Songs are sung, dances are danced, love, true love, blah blah blah.
Hey, at least they got to know each other first. No love-at-first-sight nonsense here.
